.Friday, January 11, 2008 ' 2:52:00 am
I don't know if i did the right thing. I took up the position as deputy camp chief for this year's training camp. I'm losing my confidence in running the unit. I just cannot find back the old hui kang that used to lead all the way. I went back yesterday. I saw something that really pisses me off. Not that worst, but to me, is bad enough. The room is in a mess. The spars are lying around in the field. I'm still wondering, why am i still bothering with these stuff when i can have my time having fun with my friends?Or should i say i'm being irresponsible? I had been thinking since i'm back home at 6pm. I don't know what i want, and what to do next. Something is somehow stopping me from going back again. I don't know what's that, seriously.Or should i just take it that i'm forever gonna be with the unit and no matter what others may say, i'm so gonna stay on? I'm not trying to attract attention by stepping down, perhaps, I really need a break. I rang freddy up just now and we had a talk. What he said may be true and may be wrong, to a certain extent. But, am i really that worst? We're still young. We're still learning. Don't expect us to know every single thing. I'm confused. I really don't know what to do now. What i can do now, is to carry on doing things that i may think is right, to me.
